Chasing Cars
by xxanglophilexx
Summary: Artemis and Holly have to say goodbye. A song fic to Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars.


A/N: Artemis is a bit OCC, I know, but imagine him affected by Holly's love and influence. The song is "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol and does not belong to me, and neither does Artemis Fowl.

**---------**

**We'll do it all **

Artemis cradled Holly's head against his chest as her tears soaked through his shirt. He didn't care. It didn't matter. He just needed to hold her

**  
Everything**

"Artemis," she whimpered quietly, her heart breaking as the word left her lips. She lifted her eyes to stare up at the inky night sky, dotted with winking stars. A scowl formed on her trembling lips. Nothing should be _winking _right now. Not when she felt like this.

**  
On our own**

Artemis understood. He always understood. He knew her, better than anyone else. He felt the pain that she was feeling, the numbness coursing through her body. He felt it all. Even tears identical to hers were spilling down his cheeks.

**We don't need  
Anything  
Or anyone **

"How could they do this to us?" she asked quietly. "Why can't they let us be together? How are we hurting them?"

"They don't understand," he whispered as he soothingly stroked her hair. "They don't understand us, or what we have."

"Make them understand," she pleaded, her voice cracking. "I can't leave you, Artemis. I can't let them mind-wipe you again. I can't." She lifted her head up so she could face the Irish boy with tears in his eyes. She adjusted against him so she could look into his eyes. "They can't do this."

**If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**

"They can," said a voice sounding oddly like Artemis's. It took him a minute to realize that it was him who was speaking. "Sool…he won't let this go on."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Holly cried.

"We have one night left," he said softly. "I want to spend it together, as happily as we can."

**I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel **

"We've been together for a year, Artemis! And now Sool wants to mind-wipe you, wants to rip us apart because he's so damn biased against us! How can you think about happiness?"

"I want you to remember our last night together perfectly. I want you to remember every feeling, every word, every moment vividly. I need you to remember for yourself…and for me."

As Artemis stared up at the sky from his place on the grassy hill, the loss of Holly wasn't the only thing that was ripping his heart apart. It was the fact that after tomorrow, he would remember none of it. He would forget every touch, every whisper, every caress. He wouldn't even remember her name.

They had fought so hard to keep it a secret for the past year. The only other person that had known was Butler, who had taken precautions to make sure that the two didn't get caught. He had just wanted to see Artemis happy.

But now…Artemis had never felt so far from happy. He had finally known how it felt to love. He had known how it felt to care, to cherish. A whole world of feelings had been used on Holly, from dislike to head-over-heels love. He couldn't let all of those feelings disappear. He couldn't imagine feeling as empty as he had before Holly had come into his life…or rather he had come into hers.

Eight years. They had known each other for eight years. How could someone erase eight years of feelings without regret? How could Sool wipe his mind of any trace of Holly, the only woman that he had ever felt for?

"Holly, I—" Artemis choked on his words before he could get them out.

**Those three words  
Are said too much  
They're not enough **

"What, Artemis?" she asked quietly.

Artemis swallowed. Would telling her how he felt only make this harder? It hurt him to see Holly like this, crying against his chest under the moonlight, trembling in fear of what tomorrow would bring. He couldn't make this worse for her.

"Nothing," he said softly as he brushed stray strands of auburn hair off her forehead and kissed her temple. "Nothing, Holly."

**If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? **

"Try to concentrate on something good," Artemis said as he took deep, silent breaths, not believing a word he was saying.

"Like what?" she asked tentatively.

"Like…this." Artemis's fingers brushed underneath her sapphire eye. "A part of me that will always be with you."

"You don't think that they'll switch them back…right?"

Artemis chuckled quietly. "No, I don't. Even Sool can't be that cruel."

"Don't count on it," she said cynically.

"Hey," he clucked. "Remember, happy things."

"Like our first kiss?" she ventured.

"Yes, like our first kiss," he agreed, remembering the moment fondly. Their hidden passion had gotten the best of them exactly one year, three weeks, and four days ago, driving them to make out in the back of a LEP shuttle. Butler had gotten a surprise when he had came back to make sure that Artemis was fine.

Holly giggled. "Poor Butler. I thought that he was going to pass out."

"I did too," Artemis admitted. "Thankfully he took it well and was on our side."

**Forget what we're told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life **

"Why can't everyone else think like Butler?" Holly asked. "Why is it so wrong for a fairy and a human to be together?"

"We're different," Artemis said simply. "People don't like difference, change. It's human nature. Bigoted human nature."

"Is this wrong, Artemis?" she questioned softly. "I mean, it's not like you're a dog or an animal. Mud Men and fairies once lived together. If we hadn't retreated to Haven, then this would have happened. Fairy and human together."

"Holly…" He pressed a kiss behind her pointed ear. "Forget about Sool and all his other followers. Us. Think about us."

**Let's waste time  
Chasing cars  
Around our heads**

"When did you become so romantic?" Holly wondered aloud.

"I think it was around the time you threw the bouquet of lilies at me because I didn't know you were allergic, and then decided that you better throw the chocolate for good measure. I don't think that my head will ever be the same again."

Holly chuckled. "I was erupting in hives. I was angry."

Her deft fingers flew up to her neck, fingering a thin gold chain. Her fingertips traveled down the length of the chain until they touched the pendant. It was a pure gold replica of a neutrino, dotted with a small diamond on the miniature handle.

"The only thing I didn't throw at you was the necklace," she remarked with a smile. "I suppose it was because it's the most unique thing that I've ever gotten. Many boyfriends get their girlfriends heart pendants, but I get a blaster." She laughed. "But it fits."

"I accompanied it with a wonderful line, though."

"'You've blasted through my heart, Holly'," she quoted. "Not the most romantic thing."

"You loved it," he said as he wrapped his arms around her even tighter. "You smiled and kissed me until you were itching so badly you had to jump into the fountain."

"Yeah, that was an interesting Valentine's Day."

"But one you'll never forget."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I won't. But you—you will."

**I need your grace  
To remind me  
To find my own **

The wind played with Holly's hair, pulling it into the air. Artemis ran his fingers through it, smoothing it down onto his chest. He entangled his fingers in it, knowing that it would be the last night that he would be able to do it.

"Holly…how do you think it will be…without me?" he asked tentatively.

"Awful," she murmured, her eyes closing. "Painful. Miserable. Empty."

Artemis's heart continued to break as he clutched the elf against him. Being away from Holly…it hurt enough. But he couldn't leave her like this. She couldn't live an empty life because of her. He needed her to move on.

She was Holly. Beautiful, feisty, fiery Holly. She _needed _to move on. _Needed _to prosper.

For herself.

For Artemis.

"I want you to move on," Artemis said, his voice cracking. "Just…forget about me."

He was now convinced that his heart consisted of tiny scraps of pain, hurt, and despair, floating around freely in his chest and spreading through the rest of his body, making him feel even worse.

"I can't," Holly whispered. "You're—you're—" She searched for words. "—Artemis! You're Artemis. And I will never be able to forget you. No one will."

**If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? **

A watery smile formed on Artemis's lips.

"I know that I'm important," he said, and for once there was no cockiness in his voice as he stated it, "but you have to move on, Holly."

"I can't. It's too hard, Artemis." She bit her cherubic bottom lip. "Eight years, Artemis. They are destroying eight years of memories between us. We've been through everything together. We've been enemies, friends…this."

She couldn't come up with the words to describe what they were. A couple? No. It was something much deeper than that…so much deeper.

**Forget what we're told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life **

"I know," he said. And he did. He did know. He knew every thought that was fleeting through Holly's head, every feeling that was coursing through her veins. They had become one in the same.

"I'll miss you," he said softly.

"You wouldn't even remember me," she said sadly.

"But I'll feel you." He closed his eyes. "I'll feel the emptiness. Just like the last time I was mind-wiped. I missed you then, Holly, even though I wasn't sure what I was missing."

"I'll miss you too, Artemis." She kissed his shirt, wet with her tears. "So, so much."

Artemis reached lazily to his side and plucked a flower out of the ground. Its petals were a pure white, shining in the moonlight. He tucked the flower behind Holly's ear.

"It's not a lily," he whispered against the point of her ear. She smiled softly.

**  
All that I am  
All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see **

"Promise me one thing, Artemis," Holly pleaded.

"Anything."

"Stay…stay like this. Don't go back to the way you were before everything."

"I can't stay the same," Artemis said with a crooked smile. "But I'll try to stay out of things that are illegal or will result in my death."

Holly shook her head with a small smile. "I guess that's as good as I'm getting."

"Maybe I should try to do something that will cause some kind of harm," Artemis mused. "You fairies do have a hero complex."

Holly swatted him lightly. "I don't think that it will happen quite the same as it did last time. If anything happens at all," she added somberly.

"I can hope, can't I?"

"It seems like hope is all that we have left."

**  
I don't know where  
Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things will never change for us at all **

"But you have so much more, Holly," Artemis said. "Now you have to promise me something."

"Anything," she replied, repeating his same answer.

"Don't forget about me. But don't dwell on me. I would like to be a distant memory tucked in the corner of your mind, never to be forgotten, but not to be remembered."

"I don't think I can do that. I don't know how. You're always on my mind, Artemis, even when I see you as much as I do. How can I just stop thinking about you if I'm never going to see you again?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just don't know."

"That's a first."

"Not really. I have been unsure about a lot of things since I met you."

"And I suppose I am the reason?"

"Of course. You're so wonderfully complex, it's impossible to know everything anymore."

"I guess there is no textbook guide to me."

"No, I've had to play it by ear, and it has been exhausting." He grinned slightly. "But I have loved every moment of it."

**If I lay here  
**

Artemis brushed her hair away from her face, tipping it up so she could meet his eyes. Sapphire bore into hazel, and hazel bore into sapphire. Artemis had never felt so wonderfully connected to Holly. He reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers.

"No matter what…" he whispered, so quietly that Holly could barely hear. "Tomorrow…just remember that…" His voice lowered again. "I love you. I always will."

He waited nervously for her response. For the first time that night, a real, true smile broke across Holly's elfin features.

"I love you, too, Artemis," Holly said, her voice almost a sob. "I love you. I love you so much."

**If I just lay here**

Their lips met in a soft kiss as wind brushed across the hill, causing tree branches to rustle around them. They paid no attention to their outside surroundings. Now it was them, and only them, that existed in the world.

**Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**


End file.
